Relationship tips How your sleeping position tells a lot about your relationship

Your body language comes from the part of the brain called the limbic brain versus the cognitive brain, which allows you to think things through.

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While you’re soundly sleeping, your subconscious takes over and commands your body. But the sleeping position you prefer gives away just how you feel about your bed mate and yourself.

Your body language comes from the part of the brain called the limbic brain versus the cognitive brain, which allows you to think things through. Essentially, body language reveals our true feelings about others.

 In fact, when you’re asleep, you’re at your most honest and vulnerable. Patti Wood, a body language expert and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language, along with other sleep experts and psychologists, have conducted studies and revealed the 10 most popular sleeping positions between bedmates and just what meaning your sleeping position has.

The illustrations accompanying this article were created by Maya Borenstein.

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  • The spoon

This position is when one bed mate curves his or her body around the backside of the other person and they’re virtually touching from top to bottom. Wood said that this position is most common among couples in the first few years of a relationship or marriage, indicating trust and an intimate level of comfortableness.

More specifically, Wood said if a man is wrapped around a woman, it’s indicative of him being solid in his position as the protector. If the female is curled around her partner, it shows she can depend upon him.

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  • Loose spooning


This is the spoon position, but with a slight gap between the bodies instead of that intense coverage. This position evolves later in a relationship, usually five or six years into it, Wood explains: The couple remains close in this position by touching hands, feet or knees.

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  • The pretzel


This is an incredibly intimate position that’s rarer than the spoon. It often happens when there are intense emotions surging between the couple or at the start of a whirlwind romantic relationship.

Patti Wood disclosed that her sister and brother-in-law always slept like a pretzel, marrying one week after they graduated from college and have been together for 40 years.

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  • Unravelling

Here, couples start out in the intimate pretzel position, but once they’ve relaxed and slipped into a slumber, they unravel their limbs. It actually shows signs of a strong relationship, one where the couple begins together, but then confidently stretches out into their own space.

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  • The royal mug


Here, this sleeping position means a face-up position from the male indicating confidence and self-assurance. The woman usually rests her head on the man’s chest or shoulder.

Wood said the person on his or her back while sleeping is “facing life.” If the man has his arms wrapped around the woman, it shows protectiveness. But if his hands are on top of his head like a crown or his elbows are out to the side like a royal cape, he’s not only showing his confidence, but indicating that he wants to be in charge, essentially be the “king of the castle.”

If the woman is sleeping facing her partner in the fetal position, she’s subconsciously showing that she depends upon him and allows him to be in charge. Resting her head on his chest, but stretching out her body shows she wants to make decisions herself.

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  • The left hug


This is a position where only the legs of the couple touch and usually are intertwined or gently resting upon each other. This is a position that reveals an extreme level of comfortableness with each other, where a couple has been together for a long time. They want their space, but still want to connect subtly.

  • The V hug


Named for the body position bedmates in this pose subconsciously create, the v-hug is when couples lie on their sides, faced away from each other, but remain touching through their rear ends.

Wood said this position indicates trust between the two and a desire to remain independent while still connected sexually. Not surprising, this position often occurs between couples with small children who have been clinging to them physically during the day.

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  • The back kisser


This is when couples assume the v hug position, but with a slight space in-between. Don’t fret because of the lack of contact. It actually indicates confidence in the relationship.

  • The chaser


This position is common among couples where one wants space and the other wants to cuddle, so one bedmate ends up chasing the other across the bed.

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  • The space hog


You’ve seen this in movies and maybe your bedmate is a space hog. Sometimes people can be blanket hogs, too. In this position, a partner assumes the starfish position where they sprawl out and hog the bed. Unfortunately, Wood said this can be a sign that your bedmate is selfish.


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