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20 dating mistakes that can lead to messy relationship

If the guy is happy with who he is and you're constantly trying to change him, he will feel you don't love him for who he is and that's going to hurt him and have him wanting to find a woman who does.

Unhappy couple

It's time to stop downplaying your successes, silencing your needs, and accommodating bad behavior. You might fly solo a little while longer, but when you do couple-up, it will be with someone worth your energy instead of someone who zaps it.

So if you're guilty of any of these dating mistakes, prepare for inevitable heartbreak.

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We all have down periods and times when we need support, but constantly spending your energy trying to cheer someone up gets old. If he can't motivate himself without you doing the rah-rah routine, he's not relationship material. How can you have a happy, healthy relationship with someone who can't motivate themselves?

He tells you that you have a "great breasts" on the first date. Sorry, WHAT?

Okay, so maybe the days of showing up with flowers are long gone, but it's a sad state of affairs when a man texting you "want to get together briefly tonight?" at noon gets us excited about a first date.

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This is supposed to be the time when he showcases the best part of himself and that's all he's offering you.

A boss should date a boss or at least someone who's proud of the fact that you've worked your ass off to achieve your goals. If he gets insecure about your success, perhaps he should be inspired to work harder on his own.

And really, he should be shining a spotlight on all of your successes, not throwing you shade.

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"Oh, you can change that" is a common statement tossed around between girlfriends. Even if you can, why would you want to waste your precious time and energy building your version of a better man?

Yes, we can all influence and inspire one another, but real change comes from someone realizing they can do better and want to do better, not from you doing it for him.

Read more: Sex, Love

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If you're looking for a relationship or want to get married and have kids, you should absolutely be honest about that. Agreeing to "Netflix and chill" with someone when you really want a dinner-and-a-movie relationship won't get you anywhere but frustrated.

It's hard when you want children and are single and feeling the pressures of time, but the reality is that having and raising children with someone you're not sure about isn't fair to anyone involved, including any future children you may have.

If you want a baby, you can have a baby, but to have a baby with a man just because he's a man is a bad, bad idea

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Ghosting is actually ignoring someone. Referring to your time together as "hanging out" when you're sleeping together is hurtful.

Read more: Weekend escapade

A lot of people say a lot of things (and that can even include "I love you"). It's nice to hear lovely words, but if you're sensing a disconnect between what he says and what he does, you need to stop listening and open your eyes.

If you only paid attention to the time, attention, respect and affection he showed, how convinced would you be?

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You, and only you, are responsible for making your boundaries clear and walking away from anyone who doesn't honor them.

If it's not the right time, it's not the right time. Sitting on the shelf while someone else weighs the pros and cons of being with you, or worse, doesn't think of you at all, is going to leave you heartbroken.

Read more: Relationship Tips

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People can absolutely change, but if he was a selfish, immature or a cheater the first time around, you're taking a major risk counting on his "a-ha" moment. Just know that going in means going in with open eyes and a preparation to take full responsibility if things do not work out this time around.

He didn't text you back and missed your date because he fell asleep on the couch again? Does he have narcolepsy? Come on. If something doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense.

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A man who's serious about you brings you into his life. You meet his friends. He meets yours. You aren't blocked from his Facebook and he's cool with people knowing you exist.

Relationships are two-way streets where both partners are going to need to give as well as take. The only person who is exactly like you is you, so if the guy (or you) thinks that compromise means you're not compatable, that's a sign someone is not mature enough to be in a relationship.

You're showing them the best and most tender parts of you, and they're getting scared sh*tless. The more you love, the more they freak out. Pull back, and they come closer.

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This push-and-pull dynamic is utterly heartbreaking for those who are actually invested, and as much as you give, it will always be received with a side eye. We need to love ourselves in order to be able to accept love, and our partners must do this, as well.

Read more: Sex, Love

There's a problem. It's correctable or at least manageable, if only they would admit it long enough to get help for it. You're happy to be there for them if they work through it, but they just can't face it.

On the flip side, if you're constantly hearing the same things from people who love you in your life, you might want to take note. There's no shame in having something to work on, but knowing and choosing to look the other way is not going to do your relationships any favors.

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We can all be self-centered, but if he only thinks about himself, his needs, his wants, his fears, his desires and his point-of-view, there will be no room for you in the relationship.

Butterflies are sweet. Feeling like your stomach is in knots is a whole other story.

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How can you build one together and know if your values and goals align if they have no idea who they are or where they want to go?

Source: womenshealthmag.com

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