The hoe phase is that stage in many young people’s lives where they consciously or unconsciously lean towards emotional/sexual experiments, as opposed to waiting out for something that would be concrete, final.
Urban Dictionary says this is a phase in your life that occurs when you are fine with exploring promiscuous activities and connecting with random people.
Not everyone will go through this phase. There are still many young people whose paths to happiness, satisfaction and wholeness in love and relationships do not cut through the hoe phase.
So, of course, there’ll be a conflict of interest if you meet a guy who is still firmly in his hoe phase when your desire is a level of commitment that this type of men can’t possibly give.
How then do you recognize a guy like this?
1. Smooth talkers
Most of the time, guys in their hoe phase are social butterflies, easily flitting from circle to circle on the back of their eloquence and great communication skills.
Being able to converse and effortlessly fit with almost everyone and every group makes the hoeing easier.
However, take note that while guys in their hoe phase are largely smooth talkers, not all smooth talkers are in their hoe phase.
ALSO READ: Going through a hoe phase could be really good for your relationship
2. Deliberate assholes
The hoe phase is technically for experimenting and trying out as many women [or men] and situationships as possible, regardless of what needs to be done to get there, or who needs to be dumped to get the mission going.
So, men in their hoe phase develop a mean streak and ruthlessness needed to get rid of babes who want to stick with them longer than the rules of hoeing permit.
ALSO READ: Why millennials are ghosting their way out of relationships
3. Good but not good enough
Some others have learnt the subtle, almost indistinguishable art of being scum without appearing so.
Enter the guys who have perfected the "It’s not you, it’s me" trope to a faultless T!
To learn more about this special specie of men, here
4. Non-committal
Of course, commitment is the last thing on the mind of any guy [or babe] in his hoe phase.
Once you see signs of evasiveness, revealing only so little even when saying so much, deviating from personal questions as quickly as possible, just know there’s fire on the mountain and run away as fast as you can.
Of course, there are guys in the advanced stages of this game who have actually learnt really smooth ways to do all these things and still remain as non-committal as ever.
The answer to this is to just hope he makes a mistake that'll give him up.
5. Master ghosters
When someone ghosts, they quietly fade away from the life of someone they had a relationship with.
Men in the hoe phase are the kings of this type of behaviour.