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Across much of the world, marriage customs typically centre on men initiating the process — proposing, paying bride price, and assuming the role of head of the household. However, in various African and Asian communities, this tradition is turned on its head. In these societies, women not only lead the marriage process but, in some cases, take on roles traditionally associated with male spouses.
From Nigeria to China, certain cultural norms permit women to marry both men and other women — often for reasons related to inheritance, lineage preservation, or societal stability.
Nigeria: The role of female husbands among the Igbo and Yoruba
As noted in Wikipedia, within some Igbo and Yoruba communities in Nigeria, a woman may become a “female husband” — a recognised and respected role unrelated to sexual orientation. Typically, this practice is adopted by women who are either affluent, childless, or have no male heir.
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The female husband pays the bride price and assumes all social and familial responsibilities. Any children born to the younger woman — usually through a selected male partner — are considered the children of the female husband.
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Kenya: Nandi and Kikuyu women who marry women
Similar customs exist among Kenya’s Nandi and Kikuyu ethnic groups. According to Wikipedia, women who are widowed, wealthy, or without children may marry younger women to ensure their family name and lineage are preserved.
“The female husband adopts the male social role, and any offspring are recognised as part of her family line rather than that of the biological father.
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South Sudan: Nuer women as social and legal husbands
Among the Nuer people of South Sudan, customary laws permit women to marry other women, especially in cases of infertility or to maintain family assets. The woman taking on the husband’s role pays dowries and is acknowledged both socially and legally as the head of the household.
In this system, the female husband has full legal rights over children born within the family and is acknowledged as the paternal authority.
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India: Matrilineal traditions among the Khasi and Garo
In India’s northeast, particularly among the Khasi and Garo tribes, matrilineal traditions prevail. As The Diplomat reports, property and surnames are passed through the female line, and men often move into their wives’ family homes after marriage. The youngest daughter is typically the primary heir to the family estate.
Though marriages follow traditional customs, it is women who hold the real decision-making power within households and the broader community.
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China: The Mosuo and their unique “walking marriages”
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In China’s Yunnan Province, the Mosuo people practise an unconventional arrangement known as the “walking marriage.” As Wikipedia details, women have the freedom to choose their male partners, who visit them only at night. There are no formal marital contracts or cohabiting arrangements.
Children remain within their mother’s household, and women oversee property, inheritance, and family life. The entire family structure is centred on the maternal line.
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Rethinking gender and marriage norms
These cultural traditions offer compelling examples of how gender roles in marriage can vary dramatically across societies. Throughout parts of Africa and Asia, women have long played central roles in family and community life — controlling property, overseeing inheritance, and even leading marriages.
As global conversations about gender roles and equality evolve, these time-honoured practices demonstrate that women’s leadership in domestic and social structures is far from a modern invention.