Try as you might to fight for it, mend it, and preserve it, even those were-practically-family friendships can run their course. This doesnt mean they were any less meaningful in their prime, just that its time for everyone involved to move on.

Because friendship breakups aremore often than notpainful, even after youve realized its time to cut ties, you might stick around and avoid pulling the trigger. Trust, you wouldnt be the first person to do so. But, you owe it to your relationship [to break it off] even if youre not in a good place with the person, says Andrea Bonior , PhD, clinical psychologist and author of The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing and Losing, and Keeping Up With Your Friends . Otherwise, theyll be left lost and confused if you dont say anything. And both you and your soon-to-be-ex-bestie deserve the chance to move on and cultivate the friendships that do spark joy.

Look, its no secret that all this is way easier said than done. Breaking up is hard to do, but it isnt impossiblenot when youve got an expert walking you through it. Here's everything you need to know about breaking up with friends, keeping things civil for the rest of your friend group, and moving on.

There are a few reasons to break up a friendship.

It really runs the gamut from life transitions taking people to different places to feeling like they dont have much in common anymore, says Bonior. The most cited reasons actually have nothing to do with a big, nasty argument. Instead, Friendships typically come to an end because theres a disconnect that one, or both of you, feel is beyond repair.

Here are some other signs that you and a friend should call it quits:

People grow apart and their daily lives dont mesh anymore, she adds. As a result, you might feel like the friendships off balance, with one of you giving more to the friendship than the other.

Of course, sometimes friendships end because of a rift. Maybe your friends habitswhether theyre related to substance abuse or romantic choiceshave been concerning, and they refuse to hear you out. Or maybe you dont feel like you can be your best self with them because they regularly put you down, gossip about you, or theyve betrayed your trust (all signs of a toxic friendship , btw).

Whatever pushes you to cut things offeven if you cant quite put your finger on itif you simply dont feel good about yourself or your friendship when youre together, thats reason enough to go your separate ways.

Friendship breakups can sometimes feel even more complicated than romantic ones.

As important as friendships are, romantic relationships tend to get all the glory while platonic ones are undervalued. Without the weighty expectation of monogamy, people have a hard time ending friendships. Think about it: You have to breakup with a partner in order to move on to someone new, but theres nothing stopping you from avoiding a friendship breakup indefinitely, putting off the confrontation, and hanging out with some other buds instead.

But you owe it to yourself and your friend a clean break if youre unhappy, says Bonior. That way, neither of you wastes any timeeven the few secs it takes to send a texton someone who is no longer receptive.

And though people often underestimate what a big deal it is for a friendship to end, friendship breakups are just as uncomfortable and sad as romantic ones, Bonior points out.

Breakup conversations might escalate into arguments; your friend might get defensive or try and convince you to stick around. But, if you dont feel like youre a good match anymore, you need to let them gothe same way you would a significant other.

How you end a friendship can go any number of ways.

If youre pulling the plug, whatever you do, make it easier on yourself by not leaving the door open to ambiguity, says Bonior. Be as clear and as gentle as possible.

Shes not saying you need to get into the nitty-gritty of something your friend said on a Wednesday morning three months ago, but make sure they can walk away from the conversation with a definite understanding for why you broke things off.

Try: You probably noticed I havent had as much time to spend together lately. To be honest, I feel my life is moving in a different direction these days, and I wanted to be honest with you and tell you I wont be hanging out as much. Im glad weve had a friendship, but I dont think we're a good fit anymore.

If the two of you hadnt already and noticeably drifted apart, you might get some pushback. Your friend may promise to change and do better for you. If you think you can work things out and trust theyll do their part in repairing the friendship, great.

But, if youre not willing to devote any more time to this friendship and are certain you want to breakup, dont budge. Say: Look, there isnt anything more for us to do here. I just wanted to let you know that Im not looking for things to be different; Im just telling you Im in a different place.

Coping with a friendship breakup is tough, but not impossible.

Now, if a friend breaks up with you, one of the best things you can do is take some time for self-reflection. Try and pinpoint patterns in your other friendships or former friendships, Bonior suggests. If you notice youve had friendships come to an end in a similar way over and over again, its important to pay attention to what might be going on. It could be that youre picking people youre not compatible with. It could be that youre all hot and heavy in a friendship for a while, and then you duck out when things get boring," she says."Or, it could be that you are doing something within the relationship thats causing conflict."

Remember, friendships naturally wax and wane. Theres no hard and fast rule that says people have to have the same friends their whole lives. "And when they end, that doesnt negate their positive aspects," says Bonior. "Just because a friendship ended doesnt mean you have to pretend it never existed or wipe it from your life story because you can still find it very valuable."

Leaning into self-care rituals can help with this. Journal, meditate, talk to another friend or a therapist about what youve appreciated and will take away from this now-former friendship, Bonior suggests. Yes, youll miss them a ton, but youll find doing this will make it easier on you to move forward.

There tends to be a lot of shame and embarrassment around grief when it comes to friendship breakups, but theyre significant losses. You might downplay your feelings and think, "well, its not like I just got divorced or something," but friendships carry a lot of emotional weightsomething you might not realize until its over. So, give yourself permission to feel and dont beat yourself up if it affects you more than you expected, says Bonior.

A breakup doesn't have to make things uncomfortable for the rest of your friends.

Realistically though, youll have to readjust. Because you'll both need time and space to heal, you might have to back out of certain events because itll be uncomfortable. Or maybe, some of you might end up breaking out into smaller groups for a bit. But if you and your ex-friend can eventually get to a place where you can keep your cool in group settings and respect each others space, make it known to a mutual pal that you dont mind going to that group brunch as long as they're cool with it, too.

Just be careful that youre not putting mutual friends in uncomfortable situations, says Bonior. Dont make them choose between you two, and dont pressure them into seeing things from your perspective. Be cognizant that people have the right to keep up the friendships they want to keep up, and they might be seeing things from a different lens than you are, she adds.

As long as you can maintain respect for each others decisions, you shouldnt have a problem maintaining your other friendships.