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On the surface, you would think all one has to deal with when they are in a relationship with an insecure, emotionally dependent person is to tolerate their bothersome jealousies and silent treatment.
Often, the possibility that needy partners can emotionally abuse their others is overlooked. Nothing is more damaging to a person’s confidence and self-esteem than being in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Insecure people have a way of manipulating their partners, and these are some of the ways they do that:
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If they have to push you down and make you feel less just so they can feel good about themselves, they wouldn’t mind doing just that. And that is why insecure people can be abusive.
They often think they are the victims, and you’re the aggressor. They blame you for their life difficulties and unhappiness. It takes a while for them to sit back and realise that they are crossing boundaries and making inroads into you dignity and privacy.
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There are some insecure partners who may come across as hyper-independent. They give help you out financially, buy you expensive gifts, sign you up for expensive seminars etc.
When dealing with such ‘emotionally-balanced’ partners, who are in fact insecure, they may make subtle threats with the intent to frighten or control you. They will use any thing that can serve as leverage to keep you forever reliant on them.
Who would ever think that their needy, weepy, sensitive partner can ever abuse them emotionally? Aha!
They desire to make you theirs and theirs alone. It is hard for them to accept that you are an individual with your own plans and aspirations. As a result, the get moody when you have a life outside their love and their world.
By Dede Williams