Relationships need a novelty factor to keep them going. Both men and women think differently when it comes to their wish-lists and fantasies in bed.

But meeting common grounds and respecting each other are the key ingredients to make sexual fantasies work in your favour.

Pros

• Brings sparkle and adventure into the relationship

A dull and boring relationship can become exciting, adventurous and spicy if you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to making your sexual fantasies a reality. Role-playing, wearing sexy lingerie, using sex toys, taking a naked bath can all spice up your sex life. Dirty talking, stripping, lap dancing, etc. are some other fantasies that can help add sparkle to your relationship.

• Allows one to explore the deeply hidden aspects of one’s sexuality

Even if your relationship has not lost its novelty, sexual fantasies allow you and your partner to explore the deeply hidden aspects of your sexuality. Many of us are conditioned in a certain way due to our upbringing, family, education and the jobs we do. With sexual fantasies, we get to be in situations where we are not really sure of how we behave. This helps to explore the unexplored parts of our own sexuality. For example, one of my fantasies was to make out on the rooftop of a building while drinking wine and when I did it, I soon figured that I did not care much about what people had to think about me, even if they saw me making out.

• Allows us to break free from social norms

Our society even conditions us to behave in a certain way when we are in bed with our partner. However, sexual fantasies change things for the better. You no longer worry about what is right or wrong but you begin to think of what is fun for you and your partner. If you two derive pleasure from your sexual wish-list, then why think of what is right or wrong as per societal norms?

Cons

• Can create distance between the couple

As much as you want to spice it up, remember that your partner also needs to be willing to take the challenge and explore the unexplored.

• Derogative sexual fantasies are a big deal breaker

The majority of sexual fantasies take birth after watching porn. Men like to see women completely submit to them. While pornography shows such women taking verbal and physical abuse, it is essential that men understand that porn is not real. It is more or less like a well-choreographed dance performance. With such fantasies, men can start becoming derogative in bed. So keep in mind, that your relationship needs to have respect for one another and derogative sexual fantasies are a big deal breaker in love.