While being in a world-famous band and traveling the globe to perform for your millions of fans might seem like a great thing, it can also be a bit lonely. Liam Payne joined One Direction in 2010 at the age of 17, after the group was put together by Simon Cowell on The X Factor. The group went on to sell 50 million records, and One Direction is the first band in US Billboard 200 history to have their first four albums debut at number one.
Payne spoke with Men's Health Australia , and he said that the group's sudden fame was jarring, and at times, lonely. He often turned to drinking to cope with his feelings, and he described the experience as "toxic."
"When youre doing hundreds and hundreds of [concerts] and its the same 22 songs at the same time every single day, even if youre not happy, youve got to go out there. Its almost like putting the Disney costume on before you step up on stage and underneath the Disney costume I was pissed quite a lot of the time because there was no other way to get your head around what was going on. I mean it was fun. We had an absolute blast but there were certain parts of it where it just got a little bit toxic."
View this post on Instagram #WWATour A post shared by One Direction (@onedirection) on Sep 16, 2014 at 9:56am PDT
When asked if he ever felt "in control" during those times, Payne said he never did. He explained, "I still struggle with it now. I really struggle to say no because I dont like to let people down. Its in my nature."
Payne has been open about his struggle with anxiety , and he told Esquire Middle East that he goes for a run at 5 am each morning to combat it, and he added that his style is so laid back now because "thats kind of the way I am as well. I dont feel the need to hide behind the clothes anymore. I feel I can finally be who I am and enjoy myself."
View this post on Instagram Heres a look behind the scenes into a recent shoot I did with @menshealthau wearing @hugo_official talking to them about fitness and just about everything else! Always a pleasure working with @gregwilliamsphotography A post shared by Liam Payne (@liampayne) on Jun 3, 2019 at 6:01am PDT