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Former Prime Minister of Zimbabwe Robert Gabriel Mugabe has kicked the bucket aged 95.

Top 20 hilarious Mugabe quotes he never said | Pulse Ghana

<h1>The internet mourned him Friday morning, with the #RIPMugabe hashtag dominating Twitter trends vertical. </h1>

When he was alive, many memes were created out of his reactions, moods in viral photos. But what the internet will forever remember him for is his funny quotes on relationships and lifestyle.

Due to his witty nature, many hilarious quotes were attributed to him. And the truth is, as true as they may seem, they aren’t the sayings of Mugabe.

Most of these quotes were created by parody accounts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

To bid him farewell (on a lighter note), we bring you top 20 of these funny quotes attributed to Mugabe.

1. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than sending it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

2. Ladies never trust or love a guy who texts you “I MISS YOU” only when it’s raining because you are not an umbrella.

3. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk with X-Rays to see inner beauty.

4. All I hear is “NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE”. If that was God’s plan then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.

5. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.

6. Whenever things start going on well in your life, the devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend.

7. Women with beauty and no brains, it’s your private part that suffers the most.

8. It’s hard to bewitch an African lady these days. Every time you take a piece of her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

9. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.

10. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The only problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.

11. Dear ladies, if your boyfriends didn’t wish you a happy Mother’s Day, you should stop breastfeeding them.

12. Some girls of today can’t jog for five minutes, but they expect a guy to last in bed with them for two hours. Your level of selfishness demands a one-week crusade.

13. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with the evidence that you have had sex.

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14. It is better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny him a hole she didn’t drill.

15. We are living in a generation where lovers are free to touch each other’s private parts but cannot touch each other’s phone.

16. If you have attended 200 weddings and you are still single you are not different from a canopy.

17. If you are a husband and finds yourself being interested in a schoolgirl, buy your wife a school uniform.

18. It’s every man’s dream to remove a lady’s pants one day but not when it’s on a drying line.

19. Keep every part of your towel clean because the part that cleans your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

20. Virginity is the best gift any man would like to receive from his newly wedded wife but these days there is nothing as such because it will have already been given as birthday gift, employment seeking token and examination high score token.

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Robert Mugabe, the former president of Zimbabwe

Top 20 hilarious Mugabe quotes he never said

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