I ended up dropping about 80 pounds over the course of two years (thank you, calorie counting , for teaching me portion control, and my hometown gym, for being a safe space for treadmill workouts). I went from walking around in a body that I felt was on display to living in a body that feltaverage. And I was happy about that. I can say, without a doubt, that I would not be who I am today without the change. But now, more than a decade later, Im not sure Id be able to make the same decision I made 11 years agoor if Id feel comfortable enough to.
On Instagram, the hashtag #BodyPositive has more than 10 million postsall of which are, in some form, telling people to love their bodies the way they are. Its an awesome sentiment, but unfortunately, its not always realistic. Heres the reality: In a given year, about half of all Americans are attempting to lose weight. Of those trying to drop pounds, about 56 percent are women.
Forcing yourself to love your body wont cut it.
Basically: People want to lose weight for a host of reasons. But the well-intentioned movements can make you feel as if theres something wrong with you if you do want to make a changefor health or appearance (or both!).
Its not just my personal opinion; research backs me up. For someone who needs help in the self-esteem department, the constant reminders (to, say, love every inch of your body) might actually do more harm than good, according to a study in Psychological Science . When rah-rah affirmations compete with a negative self-view, it can lead to more bad or critical thoughts, say experts. The bottom line: Forcing yourself to love your body wont cut it.
So I propose a different idea: body autonomy. Or, a persons right to do what she or he chooses with their body, without having to face judgment. If someone loves their body as is, greatwe should all be so lucky. But if they feel the need to lose (or gain!) weight, for whatever motive, cant we chill and let them do them?
Losing weight was the best choice I ever made for my body and my mind. I can run a mile (at a 7:30 pace, thankyouverymuch) , and Im more confident in my opinions now that I feel more comfortable in my own skin. Do I love my body unconditionally now? No. But I like it more, and I was able to take ownership of it on my terms. Ultimately, thats all I want for others too: the freedom to own their bodies, and the ability to changeor notat their own discretion, minus any shame or guilt.
This article originally appeared in the September 2019 issue of Women's Health.