He recalls relapsing with alcohol and cocaine at age 27, while he was in Las Vegas for the Adult Video News Awards. "People were telling me I looked good because they thought I had cleaned up. Meanwhile, I was going to these sidebars taking shots and had a little bag of blow, Gamble says. I got so bad that someone had to bathe me in a cold bath because I was so overheated. I called my friend and fellow performer, Mark Davis, and just cried and cried.
But he still hadn't hit rock bottom.
These days, Gamble, 33, is still attending the AVNs annuallyexcept now hes one of the biggest names in porn...and hes sober. Getting to the top wasnt easy. Working in a controversial industry that had a reputation for not always supporting performers physical and mental health, it was hard to stick to a solid recovery plan.
On a Saturday afternoon in Santa Monica, Seth reclines on his cozy grey couch. On the wall above is a sign that says "One Day at a Time." Inside his apartment is a narrow, white, ladder-style bookshelf that unintentionally serves a dual purpose of being a metaphor for climbing to where he is today. The lowest two shelves house his AVN and XBIZ awards (think: the Oscars and Golden Globes of porn). Just above are his gratitude journals and Marvel comics. On top of that are his recovery books and other 12 step literature. The next shelf holds an assortment of self-help books that he often quotes as affirmations.
Gamble began acting out in his early teen years. He partied, got arrested, and eventually had to attend a court-ordered support group at age 14, accompanied by his dad. My parents didn't know what was wrong with me," he says. "I just liked to get into trouble.
He got into the porn industry when he was 18 and living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He was always a sexual person, so when he had the chance to film for BangBros, he jumped at the opportunity. He finished out a contract with them before moving to Los Angeles to further his career, taking on roles as a jock-meets-boy-next-door type.
But because of his addiction, he gained a reputation for being difficult to work with on set. He always showed up, but he was often late or feeling moody. I was disassociated, doing so much blow that narcissism would appear because of how the drug reacts to the brain ," he says. "On set I developed a better than issue. Then when I was by myself, I had a less than issue."
Seth hit rock bottom at age 29, two years after his relapse at the AVN Awards. He left a 12-step meeting to head straight to a bar. He took 16 shots of Patron, snorted an 8 ball of cocaine, swallowed a Xanax bar, and eventually overdosed on his bedroom floor.
It was such a rude awakening because I realized I couldnt stop if I wanted to, Gamble says. I made a promise to myself at that moment that Ill never do it again. I got off the floor and said I needed rehab.
His agent and girlfriend (fellow adult performer, Kenzie Taylor) handled the logistics to help him get into treatment. It was the scariest feeling I ever felt," Gamble continues. "Fear came over like I had never experienced. It was the first time in my life when I got down on my knees and I didnt know who I was talking to but I was like, Please stop this feeling. I can't do this.'"
The lifestyle of an adult film star made it all too easy for Gamble to hit that rock bottom moment. Porn performers often face unique problems because of their line of work. Cyber and IRL stalking, estrangement from loved ones, and going through drastic measures to maintain an erection are just a few. Its also a struggle to find primary care physicians and mental health professionals who wont judge someone who works in the industry. These obstacles paired with the daily struggles of being a human can create a lot of added stress to daily life.
In rehab, after that rock-bottom moment, Gamble began a path to recovery that finally stuck. When he was getting sober, the porn industry changed quite a bit, too. Seth is now thriving in sobriety due to a recent increase in sex-positive mental health resources paired with the growing acceptance of recovery-based conversations in the adult entertainment community. Now that Im sober, my performances are a lot more connected because Im present. Sobriety has been very humbling, he says.
Gamble delivered arguably one of the best porn and acting performances of 2019 in Bree Millss Perspective, a performance that earned him Best Male Actor at the 2020 AVN Awards and XBIZ Awards. Gamble gave everything he had for that role, somewhat compromising his recovery by portraying a mentally ill, abusive, alcoholic serial killer (yes, we are still talking about porn, here!). My sponsor was worried about me," Gamble admits. "I was in a really dark place for months. Im just now starting to feel normal again."
"Sobriety has helped my career. Im more present," he adds. "Ive done a lot of work on myself ... Being sober, I now know when I need self-care instead of running myself into the ground. Sobriety comes before everything. When I keep that in mind, everything else falls in line.
Gamble also credits sobriety for allowing him to take his role in Perspective to such a dark place. When asked if he could have done as good of a job on the film if he was still drinking, he says, No, I didnt have the awareness of what my alcoholic thinking was when I was drinking. Step 6 (of the 12 Steps) is where you write down your character defects. So I did a breakdown of who I thought Daniel (role in Perspective) was. I wrote out all of his defects of character and just started doing them.
Since getting sober in 2017, Gamble has been an outspoken advocate for recovery. He talks about it during interviews, on podcasts, and even on stage when accepting the AVN award for best male performance in Deadpool XXX.
Two years ago, I had a life change," he said. "I know what feeling hopeless is like. Im standing here to tell you that you dont have to feel that way anymore. You can rise from the ashes."