13 things you deserve every time you have sex

3. Feeling comfortable with your pubic hair situationPubic hair is natural, and there are about a hundred ways you can style it (or remove it, if that's your thing). Anyone who criticizes what you decide to do gets a side-eye, especially if some dude whose penis is shrouded in a forest of hair is upset because you don't have a Brazilian.

4. Someone who doesn't just tolerate going down on youTo paraphrase John Mayer, your vagina is a wonderland, and anyone who comes into contact with it should treat it as such.

5. The freedom to deal with semen however you preferSpitting is cool. Swallowing is cool. Saving it to use in an art piece is... creative, but still cool with permission. Basically whatever you do with it is fine.

6. A person who makes you feel like you come from a planet of elite sex-havers and are here to show humans how it's done.This can involve things like noticing your pretty lingerie, telling you how hot you are, saying how they can't believe they're in bed with you, and generally making you feel wanted.

7. A partner who doesn't treat you like a walking sex toyAnyone you're with should recognize that you're a human being and act accordingly. If you want something emotional and they don't, they should talk to you about it instead of continuing to have sex with you but treating you like garbage in the hopes that you'll get the hint.

8. Someone who's down to experimentEspecially if you've decided they're the only person whose privates you'll play with for the rest of your life. Novelty is a key part of wanting to have sex even after years together.

9. A person who showers more than once a weekAnd brushes their teeth, flosses, wears deodorant, and does whatever other upkeep is necessary so they don't smell heinous when you get up close and personal.

10. Someone who has better communication skills than a NeanderthalStellar communication is usually part and parcel of good sex. You might luck out and have movie-worthy sex without either of you having to express your needs, but it's much more likely that you'll each have to speak up about what works for you and what doesn't.

11. Not having to wonder if this person learned all their sex tips from pornClues that they might have: jackhammering until you're concussed, spitting on your privates, wondering why you didn't orgasm the second penetration started, and expecting to finger you even though their acrylic talons make your vagina want to close up shop.

12. Not having to fake an orgasm.Faking orgasms is understandable, but in an ideal world, you'd never have to offer this form of positive reinforcement when someone has no idea what they're doing with your body, according to brides.com.

13. And ultimately, you deserve satisfaction.Maybe that involves an orgasm, but it doesn't have to. All in all, after great sex, you should feel like both your physical and emotional needs have been met.

If you don't, I guarantee there's someone out there who will pick up the slack in a pretty magnificent way.