What’s the first thing you notice about a woman after her smile and eyes, of course? If you answered honestly, it’s probably her breasts.

That’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you want to know what is? You spend so much time ogling them in broad daylight and not enough time giving them the attention they deserve when the lights go low.

Step 1: Understand that not all breasts are the same

Each tit is a snowflake. Just because something has worked with one partner in the past, that doesn’t mean the same will work for your next partner.

There’s not one specific tip that’s going to be good for every woman. Some women want breast stimulation in the form of tender, soft teasing, and some want it rougher. You have to know your audience.

Step 2: Start out gently until you know what she likes

Proceed with care and gently trace your fingers over their outer edges. Run your thumb lightly under the space where they fall and use only your fingertips to caress her as you breathe warm air over nipples. Avoid grabbing or kneading them.

Step 3: Be a tease

Kiss her entire breast, but ignore her nipples for a few minutes. Breathe over them provocatively, but don't make any physical contact until her body is writhing with desire.

It may take some self-restraint on your part, but the build-up will be worth it when they tingle as she orgasms.

Step 4: Communicate… without ruining the mood

Sure, the idea of talking about your woman’s breast preferences in the heat of the moment doesn’t sound like the sexiest maneuver, but it will benefit both of you in the end.

The importance of doing it in the moment. “It can be a bit awkward to bring up, so while you’re touching or caressing her, say things like ‘Do you like that? Does that turn you on?’ It doesn’t have to be clinical.

Step 5: Let her be the teacher

Sex experts encourages the idea of showing, rather than telling. By passing the power on to her, she gets to be the teacher. You can say things like, ‘Touch yourself and show me what you like.

Try out positions that let the man hold her breasts in place to get a better idea of her preferences. “Reach around from behind during doggie-style or place her own hands on her breasts as she rides you so she can show you just how she likes to be touched.

Step 6: Pay attention to her reactions and breathing

Says de Wit: “Be aware of what’s going on with the rest of her body her breathing, the way she moans, her flush.” But don’t ignore the breasts themselves: Sexual arousal causes more blood flow to the breasts, and often results in the breast tissue swelling up to 25%. Reddening of the skin on the breasts and darkening of the areolas are also good signs she’s into it.

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Step 7: If she likes rougher play, get a little kinky

Nipple clamps are awesome, and that slight amount of pressure can be really hot. There’s a whole school of thought that women like to have some sort of restraint around their breast adding a little roughness to it makes them feel sexy.

Step 8: Use different sensations

For women who aren’t as adventurous, a combination of hot and cold touches can be as arousing as clamps. Use ice cubes it’s almost painful ,and that can be super hot for a lot of women. You can also use a lesser-known object: fur mitts. “Different types of material like that can be really pleasurable.”

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Step 9: Compliment the ladies

If you love her breasts, tell her. Compliments are the most powerful aphrodisiacs, and feeling comfortable in her skin will help to elevate her mood, libido and sexual response. Gently tease her ladies, and you’ll see how quickly you can up the ante in the bedroom with just the right touch, you’ll turn good sex into great sex.