There are things about your relationship you can tell your friends, and there others you should not whisper a word of.
Have you ever had your dream Christmas present and couldn’t show it to your friends? That’s just about how it feels to shut up about your amazing partner.
There are things about your relationship you can tell your friends, and there others you should not whisper a word of. Here are some of the no-nos:
• You absolutely cannot tell your friends about your partner’s intimate secrets. If you get invited into your partner’s world to share in their fears and vulnerabilities, you cannot share it with a third party. This is because it is your partner’s story to share, not yours; not anyone’s.
• Of course you cannot tell your friends that your partner dislikes them and thinks they are stupid, vain or boring. Ideally, you are to be the bridge between your friends and the people you date. You set yourself up for antagonism when your friends dislike your partner or vice versa because of something you said.
• Who stands to gain if your friends know that your partner has a somewhat unappealing body part? No one, really. If you respect your partner, and want to avoid your friends laughing at you behind your back, you will keep the story of your partner’s imperfections – a hairy bum perhaps – in your bedroom where it belongs.
• Unless your partner is a serial asshole who threatens your physical and emotional safety, keep your fights to yourself. All couples fight, and usually they patch up after tempers are calm. After you are all gooey-eyed when the fight has ended, you may have a hard time convincing your friends that you didn’t mean the terrible things you said about your partner.
• Finally, unless you’re comfortable with unsolicited acts of charity, you may want to hold on till your creditors actually threaten to kick you out of your home before telling your friends about the financial challenges you and your partner are facing.
Author is Dede Williams